Sadness is normal, but suffering is optional. Suffering is resisting what is. The lessons presented to us in life are not punishment; they are part of the reality of living on earth. Losses are inevitable in our impermanent world. To experience sadness after a loss is natural, however suffering eternally for a situation that we cannot change (which is to resist what is) can be avoided.
Acceptance (not resignation) is the key to peace —it is the art of being here and now. Reliving the past, guilt, resisting the present while longing for an imaginary or impossible future are the keys to suffering. We need to learn to adopt a healthier perspective about losses.
Forgiving is not justifying the action; it is having the intention of letting go of the pain caused by the memory of what occurred.
We cannot always change what happens, but we can always change our perspective of what happens, when we realize that nothing external can harm our mind, without our consent.
How? Return to your spiritual self.
Invoke God and surrender your sorrows to Him. Direct your prayers to a personal God who listens and who is with us. Accept that you can’t carry the whole world on your shoulders alone. Shift from a place of self-help to one of acceptance —that on this earth, we all need Divine guidance to find our true path. Letting go and surrendering are not the same. I suggest you begin with surrendering— by permitting God, by saying: ‘I allow you.’ Offering him your attachments to ‘impossibles’, and substituting desires and inflexible goals to His Higher Will, are roads to sanity. The true dream comes from a whole heart ready to give, while a false desire comes from an empty heart ready to be filled. Don’t let go of the dream; anticipate a pleasant surprise. However, let go of the results. When we truly surrender, we are trusting and stopping our interference with the order of things. When you surrender, you allow yourself to be guided by what I call the compass that lives in your heart, choosing from a place of peace and not from a place of need.
Happiness: A strange and temporary state that only happens when things follow the way you want them to go.
Frustration: A frequent and persistent state you feel when you do not accept the fact that things don’t always go your way.
Fulfillment: A natural and permanent state you enjoy when you simply accept what is.
Focus on the now, find joy by helping others, and by sharing your gift with love. A heart that is busy acting on its true purpose and reason for living has no time to suffer. There is no greater happiness than giving your gifts to others.